DJ Life and Relationships
What makes relationships for DJs/Producers more complex?
Well, it could be said that relationships are one of the most complicated aspects of anyone’s life and demand a commitment that needs constant attention. But when you find a person you want to share your life with it is the most rewarding thing that can happen. Falling in love is something that most people imagine will happen at some stage of their life.
So how does the work you do impact on how you meet people, engage with them and sustain a relationship? When you do met someone, who may become a significant
The DJ life has its own unique complications with a number of factors that impact on how a relationship, which becomes important is sustainable. No one who enters into a relationship with a DJ imagines for one second what is involved.
What does a DJs life look like!
- Unusual and irregular hours, mainly evenings and nights through to the early hours are the norms.
- A successful DJ will be touring, travelling and on the road a lot.
- They will have lots of adoring fans, who would like to do more than just admire if you get what I mean.
- DJs who are producers like to spend a great deal of time writing and producing music, in studios or at the work station.
- Partying, alcohol, drugs are a big part of the scene.
- Pressure, stress, tiredness, low mood, anxiety and general physical exhaustion could all be a factor in a DJs life.
- Constant social media attention/demands from adoring fans alongside having to maintain the profile and responses.
- In the limelight, which can draw attention when out in public places.
So trying to fit in time for a relationship could take it’s a toll on you and the person who is significant in your life. Many DJs find relationships just too difficult to manage as well as the career. I have talked to many DJs who have found sustaining a relationship, marriage and family difficult. Some have found it just too much of a challenge, with the resulting outcome not being very positive.
A lot of mental and emotional strength is needed to withstand time away from partners, family and friends. The pressure of managing the lifestyle and the important people in your life can be a challenge. Some relationships do not withstand the stresses and strains of DJ life.
Can you have a relationship and a DJ Life?
As part of getting to grips with this issue, I sought out DJ/producers who have a very successful family life alongside DJ’ing. They decided that it is important when you find someone you’re passionate about, they should be as important as your career. So how does this help with our insights into the life of a DJ and relationships? Seeing relationships that work well alongside a career in music is a relief. So what tips can they provide that may help DJs survive the relationship rollercoaster.
DJ life and relationships can work
When I started to research this issue, I found many DJ/producers who have experienced difficulties with a relationship. So I set about looking for those who had made it all work and asked them what they did to make it work, with the idea of sharing those insights to help others.
- Acceptance of each others roles. The life of a DJ and what was involved. Supporting each other’s demands, some understanding of the life each of you wants and see in the future.
- Honesty about what is involved in the life of a DJ. Touring, fans, studio, social media, being in the limelight, pressures etc
- Trust, this is massive, as Dj has many fans, real and virtual. They all want a piece of that person in one way or another. Fans need attention and can be demanding, particularly on social media and email. Trust between each other is a form of reassurance for the person that is often left behind, alongside establishing boundaries for yourself.
- Party scene, touring can be tough, physically and emotionally demanding. Being away from your partner and family can be liberating as well as emotionally demanding. Ensuring that when you return from touring that you have time and energy for your partner and family is essential. Returning absolutely wiped out and sleeping for 3 days because of too much partying will put a strain on your relationship. After all, they have missed you.
- Organisation/reorganisation building in time for a relationship and family is a good way to separate the two worlds. Flexibility and good communication are needed to make this work effectively. Life events and family life can impact on that organisation. Finding a work-life balance in any context is a recipe for survival.
- Making extra time for your partner/family before go and after you have been away.
- Emotional support can be a source of comfort and security that you have someone to talk and share your feelings.
- Happiness is the cornerstone of any relationship, it makes people feel secure and provides a bond that keeps the relationship on a good footing.
- Staying in touch on a regular basis, when you’re not around, maintains that essential connection with what matters most in your life. Skype and Facetime are great ways to visually and communicatively stay in touch.
- Alcohol and drugs can put a strain on any relationships. Parameters or limits need to be agreed to ensure it does not encroach or create tension. Dj life often involves substances, which can influence behaviours and mental and physical wellbeing. Changing aspects of your life is a small price to pay for harmony and happiness.
- Looking after your health and wellbeing will ensure you have the energy for both your career, partner and family.
- Talking to each other when challenges present themselves. Shutting out your partner, throwing yourself into your work more or being emotionally detached will only create division and tension. Resolving issues as they present is a great way to stop things becoming overwhelming.
Dj life can make relationships complicated, particularly when they are the focus of so much attention, touring regularly and under pressure to be successful or maintain a profile. Relationships demand thought and attention, trust, honesty, acceptance of each other’s needs and desires. It is easy to let things slip when DJs are under pressure and in demand. Effective communication and planning is essential and can help keep things on track. Making time for each other and family is essential to keeping a relationship and mental health in good shape.
If you are a DJ/Producer and would like to talk about anything mentioned in this blog you can contact us on outofsynctherapy.com or email contact@outofsynctherapy.com
I would also like to thank the DJs and their partners that have provided information to help write this blog.